Lumberjack

When I put on my lumberjack style check shirt this morning I little knew how appropriate it would be, but by mid-afternoon I was up a ladder with my head among the sycamore branches armed with lopping tools of escalating brutality; the secateurs cleared a pathway for the ladders but made little impact, the loppers made more but proved both unwieldy and to have too small a bite for the bigger boughs, so it finally came down to the bow saw which eventually reduced the height to the required level and buried the lawn below under a heap of severed limbs, thankfully none of which were mine.

Bulb Bargain

While shopping for varnish at B&Q I looked at some light bulbs needed to replace the last in stock (of this particular type – opaque, candle with small Edison screw fitting – used in just one wall lamp) used last night, which meant the old dilemma of cheap halogen versus expensive but long-lasting and energy-saving LED raised its head again; however as the LED were on offer at £6 each (less 10% pensioner Wednesday discount) I popped a couple in the basket, and at the till they registered at only £2, tempting me to return and get a basketful until I realised the projected life of 10,000 hours made it a toss-up, at my age, which of us would outlast the other.

Blending In

At Teesside Retail Park today we followed our normal routine on entering a Costa Coffee shop, which is for me to peel off and secure a table (not always easy) while my wife queues for the lattes (easy but costly); with the size of the queue dictating the length of time I need to sit and look other than sad and lonely, I tried to blend in with everyone else, seemingly social media active on their smartphones, by taking out my not-so-smart phone and pretending to be surfing the web when in fact I was using the time to delete old messages one by one (the majority of which simply said “ok”).

Mainsgill Farm

Our bank holiday outing began with a trawl round some furniture stores but ended up at Mainsgill Farm Shop on the A66 near Scotch Corner, where we enjoyed some lunch and bought some uncommon cheese (Cotherstone, Wookey Hole Cheddar, and Blacksticks Blue); I also treated myself to a pie cookery book, just called ‘Pie’, being impressed by the uncomplicated but tasty sounding (and looking) recipes, savoury and sweet, therein that should enable me in turn to serve up some treats for the family.

The Night Manager

A quiet Easter Sunday at home allowed us to watch three recorded episodes of ‘The Night Manager’ enabling us to complete the series just an hour after the final one was broadcast; it was another impressive production from the BBC, a polished, tense and sexually charged thriller with just the necessary amount of violence – maybe not the most appropriate fare for the day, unless you subscribe to the theory of the ends justifying the means.

Heritage Park

With the wind blowing hard and rain promised, the decision to go to the football at Heritage Park was a brave one as generally the wind blows even harder there and the only covered standing is behind one goal where the idiots congregate, but for once it turned out OK with the wind dropping to a stiff breeze and the rain only spitting and spotting; even the result worked out well with Darlington coming from a goal down to win 2-1 and continue their push for promotion.

Sun and Sand

Sun and sand were the order of this bank holiday, but not at the seaside as most of the sunny day was spent in the back garden sanding down the garden bench and table in preparation for varnishing, so that when the weather becomes not only bright but warm we will have somewhere to sit and something on which to put our cool drinks.

Stockton High Street

For all its other shortcomings Stockton High Street still hosts plenty of financial institutions, including the two building societies I need to frequent most often, so taking advantage of the free one hour parking I did the business then took a stroll up and down, vaguely aware that something was missing; it was the road works, workmen and mechanical diggers that were absent, as the latest renovation, three years in the making, appears to have been completed, leaving the legendarily wide thoroughfare looking quite smart but still largely deserted.

Bantered

The attendance of my learner required me, for once, to deliver a lesson, in fact I made the most of his presence by covering the content of two lesson plans, but I emerged at noon to some pointed banter from colleagues: “you must be hungry as you’d normally be home having lunch by now”, “it’s a good job we break for Easter tomorrow as you’ll be needing a rest”, and “oh no you will have to prepare another lesson to cover next term”.

Exchange Visits

Having missed our regular Sunday morning session, I Skyped my daughter in Ulaan Baatar this morning instead and we swapped news of our respective recent outings; mine were Carlisle and Wetherby, hers were a Mongolian ski resort and Beijing.

Wetherby

Motorway service stations, while necessary, are never attractive places to break a journey, so having time to spare on my return from Salford I eschewed those on the A1(M) at Wetherby and went the extra mile off the motorway and into the North Yorkshire market town itself; parking was easy and free, a tasty and good value lunch was enjoyed at the North Road Deli Café (other equally attractive eating establishments were available), and the shops and buildings around the square provided a diverting half hour mooch around before getting back on the road and heading north.

Etihad

Day two of my Manchester-based football weekend double header took me to the Etihad, home of Manchester City, for their derby clash with neighbours Manchester United; the stadium was grander than yesterday but the football was uninspiring, and though neither team played well enough to deserve victory, a little bit of quality from young Marcus Rashford produced the only goal, giving United the points.

Moor Lane

Travelling down to my dad’s on a Saturday gave me an opportunity to make a ground hop visit to Moor Lane, home of Salford City FC, whose drive up the non-league pyramid is fuelled by the part ownership of the ex-Manchester United “class of 92”, and who are in the same league as my local team Darlington; easy to get to and park at, extremely good value at a concessionary rate of £2 (£3.50 including a good programme) the ground is spacious, scruffy but authentically non-league, and although the well grassed pitch was a bit bobbly today, the home team coped well enough to record a two nil over Sutton Coldfield, whose best player on the day was the guy behind the goal with a trumpet who had a fine repertoire including the theme from Escape to Victory and Pigbag.

Meal Deal

When it is just the pair of us home for dinner, the Marks & Spencer ‘two dine for £10’ provides remarkable value for money, with today’s choice being a main of chicken and garlic in a herb encrusted pastry lattice, a side of chunks of roasted rosemary potato, and a dessert of raspberry and vanilla panna cotta, plus the free bottle of French red wine; of course the trick is to get out of the shop without buying anything else – not a problem when I shop alone. 

Colouring In

My wife was an adult colourer-in long before it became the thing to do, so all the growth in popularity has done for her is increase the choice and availability of material, but so I don’t feel left out she included as the bulk of my anniversary present (as a combination of paper, wood and cotton) an adult colouring book, coloured pencils and a lap-tray to work on; the activity, began today, is surprisingly therapeutic, but I still, fifty-five years since last trying, can’t keep between the lines.

Carlisle

The need to get the boy over to the University of Cumbria applicant day made for an early start but got me to Carlisle by nine o’clock, and into the Olive Tree café for a bacon sandwich by nine-thirty, from where I sauntered the sunny streets admiring the town’s distinctive character – the fine market square fronting the old town hall, the cathedral, the castle, and Tullie House; attached to the last mentioned was the museum and art gallery that kept me occupied for a few hours with Roman relics, Viking artefacts, Pre-Raphaelite paintings and Cumbrian landscapes, and when I had my fill of culture I settled in the café and had my fill of lunch.

Double Trouble

The card I bought for my wife’s birthday couple of weeks ago seemed familiar to her, and sure enough she was able to produce last year’s to prove I had purchased the same one again, however my embarrassment was compounded today on our wedding anniversary when my card once more engendered a sense of déjà vu and sent her scurrying away to return clutching its twin from 2015; she suspects I have bought in bulk to save money but I think it just shows the constancy of my feelings.

DIY - Design

A slowly rotting, and unused, gate in the corner of our garden must have succumbed over the winter either to one of the many gales or one of the horses’ hooves, as it is now recumbent leaving a sizeable opening into the neighbouring field that needs to be filled, so today I began my first DIY project for ages by measuring up both the gap and the larger pieces in my pile of scrap wood offcuts to see if the two could marry up; not the biggest design & build project but sufficient to get me back into the swing - drawing up a plan and sawing the lengths needed for the assembly.

First Cut

Another spring–themed day, this one spent in the back garden, with my wife tidying up the borders as I completed the first mow of the grass, transforming it from an unkempt patch to something resembling a lawn; however one corner did remain untouched as only after cleaning and putting away the mower did I remember that at one point I had mowed round my other half, as she weeded away unwilling to relinquish her position.

Seasonal Boost

The onset of spring brings a boost to the football season after the slog of winter – grass emerges from the mud and sand, sunlight replaces floodlights, layers of spectator clothing can begin to be shed and the match watched in comfort without concern over numbing extremities, and the run-in for honours begins in earnest; and at Brewery Field today Spennymoor Town continued their remarkable recent form making it eight wins on the bounce with an aggregate score in those last eight games of 36 to 1.

Ainderby Steeple

On a day trying hard to be spring-like, with the sun shining somewhere above the mist and haze, I met up with my walking buddy Pete in the pretty village of Ainderby Steeple whose name neither matched the attractive church (tower, no steeple) nor the walk (flat, no hills); the topography was chosen by design to make for an easy start to the walking season and the route was picked for its passage past three pubs – we ended up in the Wellington Heifer and contemplated that our outings’ priorities would henceforward tend towards short walks and long lunches rather than our previous plan of long walks with short (usually packed) snacks.

Steam Train

Not the Flying Scotsman, though that did pass close by today, but the title of the first jigsaw to be completed on the new bespoke board, depicting a steaming locomotive at Goathland on the North York Moors line – which serendipitously was where the celebrity engine was heading for a week’s work; I say completed but as is generally the case for 1,000 piece jigsaws only 999 made it into place – the missing one either never reaching the charity shop, lost by my own carelessness, or carried off by a cat. 

Delivery Man

The Smart Car’s illuminated engine warning light meant a busy day for the Juke and its driver (me) who became a delivery man on this persistently rainy day, delivering my wife to school, me to work, supermarket shopping home, my wife back from school and back from the Smart garage, the boy to and from Athletics Club and, most rewarding, fish and chips home for supper.

British Values

In common with every other teacher / lecturer / tutor in the country I have to undertake ‘Prevent’ training to inculcate me with HMG’s definition of “British Values” and the need to promote them and recognise signs of extremism and radicalisation (i.e. vocal or violent dissent from said values) in the student body and report such to the authorities, so today I successfully completed the on-line module and learnt amongst other things that HMG have decided that British values boil down to democracy, rule of law, individual liberty, and respect for others’ beliefs; not much to argue with there, though they don’t seem particularly or exclusively British as most of Western Europe and the USA would subscribe to them (even if a Trump-led US would probably ditch the fourth mentioned), what about sense of humour, fair play, support for the underdog and a stiff upper lip – these are what I think more distinguish us, but of course you couldn’t police those.

Local Bus

When there is a village bus service only one day a week, and your bus pass is still a novelty, you have to make the most of the opportunity, so I hopped aboard the 09:30 converted bread van to Darlington where I spent an hour shopping for anniversary presents, about the same with my Kindle in Coopers Tea Shop, and the final hour in the soon to be criminally closed Central Library, catching up on some writing; by then it was time to catch the last bus home – for the week as well as the day – at 13:10.

Mothers’ Morning

In contrast to yesterday’s all-day celebration, Mothers’ Day was compressed into about an hour over breakfast before the boy shot off for a training day; coffee and scones in Yarm provided some lunchtime compensation, but by teatime it was business as usual as the lady of the house prepared a signature dish for tea.

All Day Birthday

My wife’s birthday falling on a weekend enabled an unusually leisurely and drawn out celebration: cards and presents opened early doors; an excellent brunch at the Vane Arms; afternoon shopping (clothes for her, evening meal components for me); a visit from her parents and sister (more cards, presents opened, cake cut); a home-cooked steak dinner with a bottle of wine; with the latter finished off while watching one of the DVDs unwrapped earlier.

Light Work

Returning from Salford I turned my attention to the sturdy box containing my table lamp received from Serious Readers; the well-packed piece of kit came with a raft of information and instructions, with the latter being “stand it up and plug it in”, which I managed quite well and now have a source of very bright but narrow beamed illumination at my elbow to make light work of any reading, even those little numbers in crosswords and killer sudokus.

Odd Job Man

When down at my dad’s in Salford I am happy to chip in with the odd job that he is no longer able to do – so far this has included nailing a bit of fencing back in place, fixing a gatepost, and even defrosting the freezer; it was therefore no surprise to find myself today up a step ladder stripping off wallpaper in the under-stairs pantry, which could presage at my next visit ending up with a paintbrush in my hand. 

World Maths Day

On World Maths Day the most relevant mathematical concept in my lesson was zero – the number of learners present.

All Presents and Correct

My birthday presents have been drip fed to me this year through somewhat haphazard deliveries, which at least has spread the pleasure over the best part of a week: Thursday brought an unmistakably wrapped jigsaw board; Friday saw a glut of chocolate, sherry, aftershave and a DVD; Saturday drew a blank but on Sunday the in-laws arrived with port, cheese and biscuits; yesterday my high-powered readers’ lamp arrived; and today, to round things off, a box of eighteen world beers was delivered – so all gifts are now present, thank you very much, and very correct.