The Last Post

At least for now, after four years of daily reportage Life Is A Sentence is taking a break to review its format, frequency, focus and future.

Beer and Brains

The twin attraction of happy hour prices ahead of a quiz drew us to the Tuns at Sadberge for an enjoyable evening of beer and brainwork; the beer, Timothy Taylor's Boltmaker, was more successful than the brains, our quartet finishing just out of the prizes at fourth of the eight teams.

Iron Men

A marathon ironing session was made light of thanks to watching the Rugby League Cup semi-final live on BBC, the iron men of Hull and Leeds providing a fast open game full of skill and physical endeavour, close until Hull steamed ahead in the second half to win comfortably.

Handlebards

Went to see the Handlebards, a bicycling troop of Shakespearean players – this year the females, perform As You Like It in the walled garden at Raby Castle, preceding the performance with a picnic; the four girls were excellent, playing the full cast with panache, humour, and no little skill, even through the rain that arrived at the interval, simply incorporating anoraks into their various costumes.

Lunch on Me

Met the undergraduate son and his girlfriend for lunch in Middlesbrough to hear all about their recent Italian holiday, which they evidently enjoyed, managed well and most surprisingly returned from with some Euros unspent; however as the café dealt only in sterling I still ended up footing the bill.

Norwegian Noir

In preparation for a holiday in Norway I scoured the library shelves and Amazon for some appropriate Scandi-noir thrillers to read on the trip, settling on books by Anne Holt and Karin Fossum; hopefully their grizzly tales are no more representative of life in Norway life than those of Ian Rankin’s are of Edinburgh or Colin Dexter’s are of Oxford.

Cupboard was Bare

Today we tackled our version of what my mother used to call the glory hole, a cupboard that holds a multitude of items ranging from the essential to the obsolete, but it all came out, got sorted, rationalised, reorganised, thinned out with goods redirected to elsewhere in the house, the barn, charity shop, or rubbish; the outcome was the unfamiliar sight of some clear shelf surfaces – a state of affairs unlikely to last long.

Job for Life

At Coopers Tea shop and Coffee House (a regular Monday morning haunt) the coffee was off the menu as the expresso machine was in bits getting repaired or serviced by an engineer and what looked like his young apprentice who, given the mushrooming abundance of such equipment, should have a career for life; fortunately the kettle was still working so my pot of tea continued to be available.

Craft Day

My wife having a crafting day left me largely to my own devices, able to devote time to reading, watching the finale of the Tour de France, and completing most of the History Magazine crossword - provided I kept her supplied with cups of tea; her output included a chalk painted picture frame, a decoupaged tea light holder and a flock of scary looking sheep.

Bus and Boat and Plane

A day punctuated by pings on my wife’s phone recording the progress made by the elder daughter jetting off back to Costa Rica and the undergraduate son returning from Italy on coach and ferry; thankfully both ended up safely where intended.

Milk Race

I have clearly been watching the Tour de France to excess as this morning I awoke from a dream featuring the race, but in a version in which several of the bikes were being ridden by cows – perhaps a throwback to when the old Tour of Britain was sponsored by the Milk Marketing Board and so dubbed the milk race.

Sabbatical

My wife’s usual haul of end of term presents was bigger than normal due to her not returning in September, not exactly retiring but more taking a sabbatical to fully share with me for twelve months or so the benefits of a work-free lifestyle; of course money will be tighter but at least we now have enough prosecco, chocolate and scented candles in stock to see the year out.

Garden Statuary

The disposal of the old washing machine from the back garden had created a void that needed filling, a job completed today as I fixed a repainted flower pot holder to the wall and put the finishing touches to my up-cycling of an old Singer sewing machine frame into a plant stand.

Well Gelled

The NHS continued what seems to be my 65,000 mile (or 65 year) service by giving me an unsolicited appointment for a formidably sounding abdominal aortic aneurysm screening, which I nevertheless attended today; having sat through many a scan on a pregnant partner, this time I found myself on the receiving end of a copious amount of gel and a hand held implement that the nurse wielded like a smoothing iron on a creased duvet cover, however the outcome was OK - father and aorta both fine.

Bishop Auckland

Another sunny day and the continued availability of picnic food prompted me to get out the bus pass and take the X1 to Bishop Auckland where the castle grounds provided a peaceful setting to eat my sandwich, under a pine tree that provided pleasant shade albeit at some danger from falling fir cones; the picnic lunch did not include tea and cake, such omission being rectified at the ‘Fifteas’ vintage teashop, and while the memorabilia, music and crockery were authentically 1950’s I’m not the same applies to the limoncello ‘cake of the day’. 

Eston Nab

For once a sunny day coincided with a pre-planned walk to make for a good afternoon out on the Eston Hills with friends (and dog); a picnic at Flatts Lane country park set us up nicely for a circuitous ascent of Eston Nab from where the 360 degree views sum up the contradictions of Teesside – grey industrial wasteland, brick red suburban sprawl, blue (today) water of the North Sea, and the glorious green of the Cleveland Hills.

Farm Shopping

A dull day weather-wise but fine for a drive down the A66 from Scotch Corner to visit a couple of farm shops: first Mainsgill, popular and busy selling good wholesome food (which we purchased freely, including some multi-coloured pasta) and overpriced ornamentation for the house and person (which we examined and left alone); second Cross Lanes, quieter and specialising in organic produce and although we took nothing off the shelves bar a packet of tea, we did enjoy a light lunch chosen from an interesting menu.

Bastille Day

Bastille day always guarantees a good stage on the Tour de France as the French riders vie for the headlines and TV exposure on the national holiday, and sure enough it was Frenchman Warren Barguil who headed a breakaway group of four over the finishing line; worth noting that if there had been another three in the group they would have matched the total inmate population of the Bastille the day it was stormed in 1789  - the building being more symbolic of royal oppression than an actual place of incarceration for revolutionaries.

SATisfied Client

News that one of my tutees had over-achieved the required standard in her maths SATs was accompanied by a card with kind words and a box with cupcakes; so good result all round.

Flown the Nest

For the last three weeks or so, whenever I have looked up at a nest in a garden tree, there has been a pigeon sat there unmoving apart from a blinking eye, even when the cats have climbed up there, so I had begun to fear it was there for the duration probably trying to hatch out a broken, non-existent or unfertilised egg, however today it finally gave up and with a clatter of wings it was off; quite a relief really as I had begun to fear it would expire up there and require removal of remains. 

Dordogne Tour

One of the quieter days on the Tour de France was nevertheless a must watch for me as the peloton rolled through the valley of the Dordogne where I spent a couple of wonderful summer holidays, and with not much race action going on the TV cameras lingered on the stunning sights of the caves at St Christophe, the castle  at Castelnaud-la-Chapelle and the towns of Sarlat-la-Caneda, Domme, and La Roque Gageac.

Playing Hooky

Thanks to my wife previously attending two hours of step-ladder training (how hard can it be?) out of school time, she was able to take this afternoon off and join in a trip to Durham; playing hooky for the afternoon clearly went to her head as she misbehaved on the park and ride bus then capered around the shops despite the dampness of the weather.

Beside the Seaside

A trip to Saltburn tends to follow a familiar pattern – a search for parking, a long walk along the splendid beach and back, fish and chips on the prom, a stroll to the end of the pier, a ride up the cliff on the funicular tramway, and an ice cream – but why change a winning formula, especially on a sunny day it was made for.

Welcome Home 3

After arrivals from Costa Rica and Nottingham, the third sibling (with girlfriend) arrived home from deepest Middlesbrough to complete the triptych of offspring for a rare reunion, which we marked with an excellent meal for seven in a strange, elevated and secluded alcove in the Dun Cow at Sedgefield.

Welcome Home 2

More favourite food prepared, my wife’s signature dish of beef lasagne, to welcome home the younger daughter (and husband) here to catch up with her sister; equally welcome was the long awaited wedding album that reignited pleasant memories that were starting to fade after six months.

Welcome Home 1

A late cancellation of driving duties freed up the day for a more relaxed preparation for the arrival home of the elder daughter, back from Costa Rica for a couple of weeks; junk cleared from a spare room, bed made up, favourite foods purchased, and at Darlington station with ten minutes to spare on the pick-up.

Window Cleaners

I know not why I am so discomforted by the prospect of the windows cleaner’s arrival every other Wednesday, possibly it is just the invasion of privacy but I also suspect there is a hangover from a childhood shock of seeing, one morning, a strange face appear at my bedroom window, however the unease persists and I try to ensure I am not at home whenever he is due to whack his ladder up against the wall; it is possible my wife has a similar aversion as she always seems to be out (like tonight) when he calls for the money.

Keep on Taking the Leaflets

My healthy heart check blood results coming back with all indicators within acceptable limits seemed to disappoint the nurse who still insisted on sending me away with a fistful of leaflets about healthy eating, exercise and taking statins.

Seland Newydd v Y Llewod

Scouring the digital guide on Freesat, and a rudimentary understanding of Welsh, enabled me to spot this program on S4C which, as suspected, turned out to be highlights of the second test between the New Zealand All Blacks and the British and Irish Lions, worth watching, even with the Welsh language commentary, to see the Lions’ historic win that took advantage of a sending off and poor kicking from the home side, but more positively that ran in two tries and conceded none; roll on the decider – the timer record has already been set on S4C.

Dusseldorf Depart

Caught up with the Tour de France highlights on day 2 with the depart from Dusseldorf where yesterday Geraint Thomas was the surprise winner of the rain-affected time trial; the Welshman survived a pile-up in more rain to finish in the bunch and so maintain possession of the yellow jersey for another day.

Holy Island

The loss of a day’s walking to the weather meant the planned big finish on Holy Island will have to wait another year, but on an ironically fine sunny day two of us made the trip over the causeway by car to see the sights and conduct a reconnaissance of the tea shops finding what must be the best cheese scones on the island at the café next to the post office.