My wife’s Smart car, left
inexplicably untethered by its handbrake, was reported to her at lunchtime as
having rolled into the car park fence and so was duly retrieved apparently
unharmed; consequently, after school, when we got in the car we sat trying to
work out if it was possible to leave the semi-automatic parked in gear or not,
my wife trying the key in and the key out, the ignition on and off, and the
gear lever in every conceivable position – N, R, and 1 to 5 (there is no P) –
which so confused the poor little thing that, when the time came to start the
engine for real, she (the car not my wife) just wheezed and coughed to no
avail, potentially leaving us stranded in the dark, until we adopted the tried
and trusted remedy of turning it off, waiting a few minutes, and turning on
again, at which point the old girl (the car, definitely not my wife) burst into
life again.
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