Santa’s Labyrinth

Each December the local garden centre devotes the majority of its floor space to its seasonal offers and converts its only entrance to an Ikea-like labyrinth that forces customers to run the gauntlet of illuminated trees, animated reindeer & polar bears, fake snow, and a cheesy Christmas soundtrack, the process slowed further by the moving obstacles of small children in or out of buggies and their minders who just encourage them by pointing and ooh-arrhing as they zigzag unhelpfully along; I only wanted a pair of secateurs but even emerging from Santa’s grotto it was then a case of find the garden stuff in the garden centre – tricky but eventually located in a corner of the outdoor compound.